Hello readers! As most of you may know I like writing an end of year blog post reflecting on the past year to ring in the New Year. (My favorite one to look back on here). I’m not really one to set resolutions, so let’s call them intentions instead.
If you’ve been following along on my socials, you’ll know 2019 was a pretty busy year. From moving halfway across the world, to marrying my best friend. The last year of this decade was pretty amazing. However, behind all the epic and gram-worthy moments are moments of self doubt and reflection. Figuring out this new identity of being a wife which I never expected to become until I was in my 30s. Being unemployed for the first 8 months and worrying that my career would pass me by.
My life plan in the beginning of the decade – finish school, get a job, work my ass off and be a kickass boss/ manager, and get married whenever the right person came along. (I was a romantic but never the kind of girl to dream of her wedding day or kids). And with moving across the globe came a lot of time alone, especially being unemployed. I would find myself wondering a lot – how did I end up here? And I realised it was a slow progression of changing my mindset and outlook on life.
Changes over the decade…
In just the past three years of the decade, my vision on life has changed so much. Career-wise, instead of pursuing a high paying “boss ass” role, I opted for the route as an individual contributor. I realised I am not the type of person to effectively manage others, and that climbing the corporate ladder would not “spark joy” in my life.
Relationship-wise, well here I am a married lady. Definitely a weight off my parents shoulders. You can imagine their look of shock when I told them a few years back that I was shooting to get married at 31/32, and didn’t care much about kids. (#disowned lol) I just knew I couldn’t settle my heart and soul before certain things. Luckily Kevin came into my life and our goals aligned. So he put a ring on it and we’re now living in Amsterdam. My relationship with Kevin is heaven sent, but also not always easy. No relationships are. It has required a combination of love and hard work from both of us. And no doubt I’m not the easiest person to live with dahaha. We are both still adjusting to this life as Mr. and Mrs. and they say the first year is the hardest. So bring it on! 💪
In the New Year
Like I mentioned earlier – with a lot of alone and free time on my hands I found myself wondering how I got to this point in my life. Feeling both extremely blessed, and also wondering – “this can’t be it, what’s next?”. Maybe this is something that people who grow up in the Bay Area bubble struggle with more, but we are constantly living for the next thing. And being in such a competitive environment where it seems like everyone else is doing “better” than you. It is one of the reasons why I moved halfway across the world. Since moving to Amsterdam, I am learning to live in the moment and if you do what makes you happy – then that is enough. This is my biggest challenge every year. To let go and let God.
So in 2020, I’ve decided to not make long-term life plans. Because let’s be honest, nothing ever happens the way we plan them. If it’s the right time, it will happen. The only thing I can do is to work on things I can change today, and tomorrow to work on things I can change tomorrow. In the New Year I want to work on being a great wife and partner, take care of my health, and continue to improve my passions (photography and blogging).
If you’re reading this and struggling with feeling like what you’re doing is right, or enough. You are right where you need to be in this exact moment. And even though it may seem like an insignificant time in your life – you may look back at the end of this decade and realise it was the most impactful. From 2013-2016 I was doing the mostest lol (*cue blonde hair), and after going through that phase I felt discouraged that I had wasted the past 3 years. But now looking back it shaped a LOT of who I am today. Those experiences have helped me to become fearlessly me.
What I’m taking into the New Year
Stuff I’m proud of accomplishing this year and want to continue into 2020:
- Cooking a lot more, and living an overall healthier lifestyle (minus all the carb intake)
PS. I’m going Pescatarian in the New Year, so I’ll let you all know how that goes lol.
- Learning new skills both in the workplace, and also for photography and blogging. Even though I haven’t blogged as much this year – I’m happy with where I am with social media. Instead of posting with the intention to gain insta fame, to post things I’m proud of. Things I worked hard on, to keep track of my improvements. Stuff I want to share, to remember for me and mine. If I happen to gain followers along the way – that would also make me SO happy.
- Continuing to adventure and be hungry to experience new places. Visited 14 countries this year, and will be hitting my 30th country in 2020!
Thanks for reading this far – sorry if it seems like rambling! Looking forward to seeing what you all accomplish and experience in 2020, and if you’re ever in Amsterdam be sure to give me a hollahhhh~